I've had alot of insight lately about God and who he is and who I am in him and how my life fits into the whole big scheme of things. One thing that is made abundantly clear is that I am not at peace with God without Jesus. With Him, everything makes sense and I'm fine; without him, living by the flesh, everything is dark and scary.
I started by realizing that in God, there is much love and nothing can separate me from that. God's love has no limits and abounds more in my weakness. I am reconciled to him because before him, wrestling with him, my will instead of his, there was nothing for me. Additionally, the world is the same way, there is nothing for the world where Jesus is not because this world is condemned from the time of Eve. Additionally, God did not send Christ to die out of condemnation, no! He sent his son because the world is already condemned, already groaning and suffering from our sin. But God saw everything on it and, out of love, sent his son to die for it. He has no desire for his creation to die; however, it is because he has given us a choice that he must allow suffering because we, as his creation will not be forced to choose him, but to choose our own way. Those who do not choose him do so because they do not like their evil deeds to be exposed. Their pride blinds them to such things. Their flesh keeps them from seeing their truth of their ways. They cannot stand the exposure. So people choose hell, not God. God sent a way for man to be eternally saved; however, they don't choose it. Consciously, they reject Him.
Only those who love God can see. That is why he says, "Let those who have eyes see, and those who have ears hear." The Spirit reveals such things; God sees the heart and knows every secret, for even in the darkness of the hearts, such things are as light to God. He knows mans evil deeds. But God also judges the righteous and he sees their hearts. No matter where they are, he is there. In the farthest heavens or the deepest seas, if they stand on the farthest horizon, God is there. He is who he is; no matter where we are. And God searches the hearts of men and finds those things that are not pleasing to him.
And God uses Christians to show his love. It is not our responsibility to bring others to Christ, but be a lamp to a dark world, be salt to a world that has lost its taste. And the beauty of God is that he allows all of us to do it in our own way. Because there are different people that can reach others. Not everyone's flavor will attract the same type of people.
And I am God's. Body, mind and spirit. All these things belong to him, not man. He is the one that I want to have me, no other man. How do I reconcile this though with the teachings of the world. Here it is: I am in the world, not of it. I cannot live by the teachings of this society. Because they directly conflict with God's teachings and his Spirit. I have to submit my flesh to the cross everyday, but the beauty of God is that he helps me. When I am unsure of what I need, his Spirit tells me. And often makes prayer for me when I am unsure how or what to pray for. I belong to him and I cannot give myself to this world anymore. There is a baggage that comes with my time in the world: There is guilt that I don't want to sleep with men, there is guilt for saying no to not being in a relationship or turning a man down. However, the cool thing is that I'm starting to ignore that guilt and move on with it my life and live it by boundaries. And all in all, my boundaries are the things that keep me sane. I'm working on enforcing them and I will get stronger as time goes on.
But for now, I belong to God. He has put his mark upon me and called me. As the woman who had five husbands, he told me to go and sin no more and that was it! Additionally, I lay myself down to him as Mary Magdalene submitted herself to Christ and pored oil on his feet.
Lord, I love you. You are my awesome Savior and I want to be with you forever. I submit my will to you and bow at your feet. Lord, I crucify my flesh to the cross today. Lead me and guide me! Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment