Being A Better Person

I've heard it said that you have to love yourself before you can love another person. But I also think that before you can get your relationships with others right, you need to get yourself together. This went through my head when earlier this week I had snapped at my boyfriend without realizing it. Apparently, it was so severe that I ruined his night :(. Not what I want at all. In fact I want his life to be better because of me.

So I got to thinking that sometimes you need to improve before you can get it together with other people. Like, if you want to be in shape, working out should come before anyone else. Or if you're in school and want to get the best grade average possible, then you should study before you spend time with your boyfriend.

But also, I think that other factors can contribute to your relationship problems. Like, stress at work. Maybe you haven't learned to deal with stress as a factor. Maybe you care what people think and need to shed that skin of caring. Or maybe you just need to not answer the phone at that particular moment because you aren't in the mood or situation to address that person in a good/positive way.

It's hard for the ego to look in the mirror and see your flaws. But sometimes in life, you walk into a room of mirrors that shows you that you need to change. The difference between a worthwhile person and not one is that the worthwhile person, as hard as it is, will drop their pride and say, "Ok, I messed this up" or "I'm not doing so well in this situation." Either way, correcting the situation should follow.

Its hard to make changes because seeing yourself in this light strips you of all your defenses and lies. It shows you that you are infact human. It shows you the things that you think other people will never see. But funny thing, people somehow find a way of finding things that you never wanted them to know. When you are without your defenses and you see yourself for who you are and what you are, a choice has to be made. Do I improve it? Or do I run from it?

Running is the easiest thing to do. Its easy because lying to yourself or ignoring the problem makes you not have to face it. But it always has a way to manifest itself in other places. The best solution is to just be honest with yourself.

Admit, that you made a mistake. And look at it positively. Well, if you messed up, admit it and move on. Its going to get better one day. Sometimes, you just have to breath and move on. I'm slowly discovering that as you move up, you find less fickle people. If you are determined to make your life better, you will find people who are on the same track as you. Mature people.

Another life lesson: You have to learn to cut your losses and take what you can from a situation. I've found that at times we can get so invested in a relationship, or give up so much for something, just to have a come to nothing. It hurts and is a terrible thing, but instead of obsessing over it, you have to let go of whatever you were holding on to and take whatever lessons you can salvage from it.

Well, this is another post. I'm not sure if there are people reading it or if its just floating around in cyberspace. Please comment and let me know what you think.