I had a good chat with the Chaplain this afternoon. I told him about how I felt like I was on an emotional pendulum because of how I thought other people perceived me. That it is rooted in the fear of being alone or abandoned by people. But he asked me, is that my problem or their's? I know its their's. I am not responsible for other people's emotional well being, but where do you draw the line between that and just being a shitty person.
He also asked me to figure out what kind of person I want to be. I want to be a good person. I person who is trustworthy, reliable, confident, etc. Those are things that I need to control, but I don't know if I've been doing a good job of it lately. The main thing is my accountability at work. I forgot to tell my supervisor that I was flying yesterday, and they waited around for me because no one told him. Another thing is that I was supposed to go in today for work, but they had someone else covering my shift. I ended up getting yelled at for coming in in civilian clothes, but I'm on crew now, my chain of command changed. I guess this is why communication is so important.
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