Religion, Morals, and Choices

I've been thinking, is life without religion absent of morals? I remember when I laid down my religion in college, my life got really out of control, but was it from loss of religion? Or did I tie my morals and boundaries up in my religion that without it, I lost my way? Can you lead a good life without being religious? Who then defines morals?

This question is especially important to me because without religion, who determines certain things like marriage or sex or work ethic, what is right, etc? I asked this question about three or four years ago and my answer was, I determined it myself. I figured out that I could do what I wanted, which sadly turned out to be self-indulgent behavior with no consideration for anything or anyone. But looking back, I wonder: what could I have substituted for religion when it comes to morals?

I tried a lot of things, like society's rules, people's rules, etc. But they all never seemed to add up. The only conclusion that I've come to is to try it out and see what happens. I know certain things do not appeal to me: one night stands, rushed relationships, broken hearts, etc. And its through those things that I make better decisions. So, if I go off my emotional compass and determine what I do and don't like to determine my morals (such as how I treat other people, etc) does that mean that religion becomes void of meaning?

I've also been considering my role as a postmodern woman. I have so many freedoms open to me, more than my sisters before me; however, many women take it to the extreme, brazenly wearing feminism on their sleeve, or sleeping around the office to get where they want to be. I work in a male dominated career field and I've heard on more than one occasion a male say negative things about military females. It used to piss me off, but I hate that attitude, not that person (hard concept to remember).

Now, I'm not going to lie. I sometimes catch myself saying, "All men are douche bags." But that comes from a place of anger, which is legitimate anger as my past boyfriend and father are ... douche bags. But that doesn't mean all men are. For my line of work or any area of my life, I have to remind myself that not all men are evil.

I digress, how does this apply to my postmodern woman role? Simply this: I have been handed a double edged sword. One one hand, I enjoy more freedoms than most women in history. I can leave a marriage any time that I want to, on my own accord, I can buy property without my husband's permission, I can travel the world. I do not need a man to take care of me or manage my life. Diapers and babies are not something I have to worry about. However, with all those choices comes their own issues: how do I manage a career, a family, and my own life without going crazy?

As far as choices for marriage go, I'm taking my time. No more rushing, no more bubble gum boyfriend excitement. I have way to many opportunities before me to waste anymore time on a guy. I'm embarrassed that I'm 24 and I have wasted so much time. But, better late than never. Better late than my mom's age, or Catherine's age. Better now than never.

But I also have to drop my past and stop worrying about it, which is something that I've done. Just drop it and don't worry about it. The right people will come along.